From Anne Giles Clelland:
I lived in Tampa during the dot-com boom, had a web site development business, and attended business networking events in hotel conference rooms full of hundreds of high-tech hopefuls. Reporter Bill Holland insightfully and incisively covered Tampa's “New Economy” for Local Business.com. When I received an email from him about my crowdfunding campaign pitch, I read. I have Bill's permission to share this excerpt from his email:
It took me forever and lots of clicking to figure out what the app you have created actually did. This may be because you have been so close to the product that it's obvious to you what it does, so your mind has moved on to the next steps: funding and scientific validation.
Bottom line - tell me what your app does in one sentence right up front. Give me a couple of examples.
"Cognichoice is a mobile application that people use to change behaviors that damage their health."
"Recently released from rehab, Keith needs support to quell his cravings for oxy. The local 12-step recovery group isn’t quite right for his condition and he lives in a rural community. Cognichoice helps by linking Keith with fellow addicts and using their 'experience, strength and hope' to guide him through the coming changes in his life."
"Chocolate makes Patty feel better. Much better. But it’s killing her. Patty has type 2 diabetes and is obese. Every hour of every day she debates what she can and can’t eat. She comes to tears over what she shouldn’t eat. No doctor or nurse can be there 24/7 for Patty. Cognichoice can."
Happy to help and best of luck to you on this product (which, the more I think about it, could really be helpful to civilization. As opposed to Angry Birds).
Thank you, Bill. Yes, I am very close to the product and have written many, many words about it. Your few are exactly right.
. . . . .
If you would like to see how Cognichoice can help Keith and Patty and, perhaps, all of civilization, we invite you to try it. Here's where to register to experience our demo of Cognichoice.
We are crowdfunding Cognichoice - The App That Helps People Change - on Health Tech Hatch.
Questions, feedback, comments? I welcome them. Please email me, firstname.lastname@example.org, or call me, 540-808-6334.