Dear Getting a Grip:  Every year my company holds a holiday office party.  Every year I debate whether or not to go.   This year, you decide.  Yes or no?

Dear Holiday Spirit:  Facebook has nothing on the holiday office party for creating angst over the crossing of the line between personal and professional.

One way to decide is to perform a cost-benefit analysis, even in a spreadsheet if need be.  Each option requires yes/no weighing.  First the costs:  What are the personal costs of going?  Perhaps time away from your family?  What are the personal costs of not going?  Will you miss social time spent with co-workers who are friends?

What are the professional costs of going?  Might you tend to drink too much and say things that will plague you at work later?  What are the professional costs of not going?  Maybe resentment from the rah-rah supervisor who organized the event?

Now to the benefits.  What are the personal benefits of going…the personal benefits of not going…

Getting a Grip:  What do you want to do?  Given you have x number of years on the planet, how do you want to spend the hours during which the office party is scheduled?  If you want to go to the party, go.  If you don’t, don’t.  Sometimes deciding what to do can be that simple.

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Need to start “Getting a Grip” on a personal problem at work?  Need workplace advice?  E-mail your question to grip@handshake20.com.

Getting a Grip, a workplace advice column for Handshake 2.0, is written by Anne Giles Clelland.  Getting a Grip regrets that not all questions can be answered, personal replies are not possible, and questions may be edited for brevity and clarity.

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Getting a Grip appears monthly in Valley Business FRONT.  A version of this column appeared in the November 2009 issue.